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History of The Cuckold Term

"Cuckold" is derived from the Old French for the Cuckoo bird, "Cocu" with the pejorative suffix -ald. The earliest written use of the Middle English derivation, “cokewold” occurs in 1250. The females of certain varieties of Cuckoo lay their eggs in other bird’s nests, freeing themselves from the need to nurture the eggs to hatching. In medieval Europe, the law, custom, and the church all defined married women as a category of property held by their husbands. Although Christian marriage vows strictly enjoined sexual exclusivity in a marriage for both partners, custom rarely enforced it on the husband (although Catholic doctrine held infidelity by either party to be a mortal sin).

A nuance of the word often overlooked in contemporary usage is that it refers to a man who, like the bird warming the cuckoo’s eggs, is unaware of his victimization. A man who knows and acquiesced, in his wife’s taking of another lover was called a "wittol," itself a derivation from the Middle English for "willing (as in knowing) cuckold."

Cuckolds have sometimes been written as "wearing the horns of a cuckold" or just "wearing the horns." This refers to the fact that the man being cuckolded is the last to know of his wife's infidelity. He is wearing horns that can be seen by everybody but him. This also refers to a tradition claiming that in villages of unknown European location, the community would gather to collectively humiliate a man whose wife gives birth to a child recognizably not his own. According to this legend, a parade was held in which the hapless husband is forced to wear antlers on his head as a symbol of his wife’s infidelity. Whether this did actually happen or not is irrelevant to the phrase, which survived.

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Ca. 1815 French satire on cuckoldry, which shows both men and women wearing horns

The French equivalent of "wearing horns" is "porter des cornes" and is used by Molière to describe someone whose consort has been unfaithful. Molière's L'École des femmes (1662) is the story of a man who mocks cuckolds and becomes one at the end. In Geoffrey Chaucer's Canterbury Tales (c.1372-77), the Miller's Tale is a story that humorously examines the life of a cuckold.

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Cuckold Lifestyle: How Common is It?
My Friend Enjoys Watching His Wife with Other Men...Is This Normal?

Is The cuckold lifestyle more widespread and common than what most probably assume? A friend of mine reads my articles fairly frequently. He shall remain nameless for reasons that will become obvious.

He read a recent story I wrote about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. In the headline, I suggested that Brad Pitt might be a 'cuckold'. A cuckold
is a term for a man whose wife cheats on him with another man.

My friend and I had a few beers last night while watching the New York Jets lose, unfortunately, to the Indianapolis Colts.

After the game, our conversation was, well, quite interesting to say the least. Undoubtedly aided by three or four (five?) beers, my friend laughed and said I didn't even understand what 'cuckold' means. Well, that's not true. I do know what 'cuckold' means...at least the technical definition of it.

But he said I didn't truly understand. And went on to explain in detail so great that I didn't know whether to laugh, to cry, to get up and leave, or to ask him to keep going. To say that what he told me was stunning would be an understatement.

As I cling to my thirties, my wife and I have been surprised to see those in our peer group who are involved in some degree of swinging. We've even visited New York City area swingers clubs, though we do not participate ourselves (and frankly most of the couples we've seen there don't seem to as well). But they are uninhibited, racy and fun places to at least visit once or twice in your life and it definitely excited us to the point where we couldn't wait to get home.

But what my friend told me was in some ways beyond swinging. It seems my friend really enjoys the whole idea of knowing his wife has sex with other men. Really.

I won't say I thought my friend and his wife were particularly conservative people. They like to have fun and have outgoing personalities and are socially pretty liberal. But never in a million years did I expect to hear what he told me.

Ronny Hart, Yahoo! Contributor Network